Lesson of Waiting

Sometimes, what we want, might not necessarily be what God means to give us. He understands us best, He holds the future and loves us so much, He will give us nothing short of the BEST, and only the best for us.

I remember my previous relationships. How they started, and how they ended. I recall God telling me, NO, every single time I started out or even before I did, but I ignored. And it always took super long for me to get over it. Countless nights of crying alone in bed, retching after consuming any food, days of staring at my handphone, reading through those old messages and reviving those "good old times" in my own head. Nevertheless, God always brought me back to His side when I'd fallen, and in His time, took away the bitterness in my heart. It took deliverance, yes, it took many prayers, it took support and encouragement from understanding friends who always stood by me through those sleepless nights...but those days were finally over, or so I thought.

During my last encounter, it just seemed so right for both of us. His personality, the way he cared for me, our interests and passion in life, even our age!!! He was such a remarkably patient and kind person in every situation, he would put pressure and demand highly of himself but not on me. He accepted me for who I was, made me want to be good because of him, and always advised me using God's word and encouraged me in serving. The best thing was, I could just be myself when I was with him.

I admired him greatly for his talent in music, his leadership, for his loving heart for God, for his caring attitude towards his family(and me obviously). In short, I wanted to be a better person because of him.


Every now and then, I would ask him, "What If God said I'm not the one for you?" and he would always answer. " Well, we can pray. Pray for God to allow it. Pray for a future. "

And yes, we prayed. Prayed for a relationship under HIS will. Prayed, cried and prayed again. We spoke about a future, I dreamed about a family with him...it was all so perfect, so applicable(for the first time) until it was just, you know, Gone.

Hmmm~ if you wish to know what happened in the end, refer to my blog archives which are full of struggles and of course, the process of that unhappy ending.

To me, it just seemed unfair. Unfair that you were the one who asked me to pray, the one who asked me not to give up, the one who actually gave me the hope of a future...but also, you were the one who took everything away just because you chose to withdraw. You even took away a part of me, the memories, the part I put into you - the emotional attachment. And it took so much deliverance, so much pain to let go. Because I knew I had to.

I believe God sees our tears and it hurts Him to see our pain. Nevertheless, because it was not for us, maybe not the wrong time, maybe not the right person...He had to take it away. We may pray, but God reigns above all our own plans for His way is higher than ours.

I wrote this illustration today as an example. Let's call it

The Present



A little boy longs for a new schoolbag and everyday as he passes by the stationary shop, he sees a blue bag with a super cool design which he slowly falls in love with.

Every afternoon when he walked back from school, Billy would spend minutes and minutes gazing at THE bag he just felt he had to have, fingering it's material and just wishing and wishing he could have it. And every evening when his dad comes back from work, the little boy would plead with him, " Dad, can't you buy that schoolbag for me? please~ PLEASE?"

But the father always gave him excuses like " You don't need it now", "It's too big, it's not suitable for you", "wait", OR sometimes, he just kept silent, leaving his son feeling frustrated and sometimes he even wondered why daddy would want to keep his heart's greatest desire from him. "Does he even love me?" he wondered childishly.

Day after day passed by and it was soon the little boy's birthday. The little boy waited in anticipation for his dad to come home from work and when he finally did, he pranced around him gleefully, stretching his hands out for the present he hoped he would get.

As he tore open the big parcel his dad handed him, he was initially, disappointed to see a Green handle sticking out instead of a blue one. However, taking off the paper, he discovered a much better and more expensive bag underneath the wrapping. It was even better than the one he had hoped to get at first.

" When did you buy this dad? How much did it cost? Why haven't I seen it at the shop before?" the little boy started bombarding his dad with a series of questions.

His dad replied with a smile. " I bought it long ago and kept it specially for your birthday surprise, my son. I chose it long before you even caught sight of that blue bag and I knew this one served your purpose better and waited for the right time to give it to you. The one you wanted initially was just too big for you, but I knew this one was THE one for you and that is why I reserved it till the end."

He continued to say, " How much it cost you ask? Well, it is the fruit of your patience and my love. I could not reveal this to you earlier as it would spoil the surprise. Sometimes when you cried, I had to control myself not to let you in the secret. It hurt me too when you were sad, but I know the result at the end would be worth it."

The little boy ran to his father and hugged him hard. " How did you know I would love this present best daddy?"

The father just stroked his head gently and slowly answered, " Because I am your father, and you are my son."

*end of story

Do you wonder what would happen if the boy could not wait and went to steal the bag or get it himself? Then he would not have gotten the greater reward which he didn't know was lying in wait for him at the end if ONLY he was patient. Worse still, he would have to suffer the consequences for his misdeeds and perhaps be punished for taking something that did not rightfully belong to him.