Dear Rass,
As far as I recap, the main question you raised in our last "conversation" was that you found it a little hard to believe that salvation and help would come from Christ so easily, right? As in, you don't want Him to do everything and you find it a little strange to only reach out to Him when you need Him and expect Him to help you? You said you wanted to do something do get what you want, not just let Him do everything.
(Please do correct me if I'm wrong coz it's been quite a while ago, but that's a little of what I gathered.)
I don't want to sound "preachy", so here's just some sharing on my side.
Have I told you the childhood story of the couple carrying the sack of potatoes?
So there was this couple who coming back from a trip to the market, were carrying two HUGE sacks of potatoes on the road.

Seeing how big the sacks of potatoes are, you can imagine them huffing and puffing away as they went up a steep hill.
Well, whilst they were half way up, they met this BIG friendly giant.

The giant was pushing a wheelbarrow along and whistling merrily.

Taking pity on the poor duo, he offered to give them a "lift" (literally) back home. Exhausted but relieved, the couple accepted his invitation. So the giant picked up the two tiny humans and set them on his wheelbarrow whilst he continued to push along. The man gave a heavy sigh and plonked his heavy load unto the wheelbarrow as he massaged his own sore shoulders, red from the weight of the sack. His wife followed suit.
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After a while, the wife(who kept glancing at the giant who was mopping sweat off his brow frequently due to the hot sun)whispered something to her husband. They then heaved their heavy sacks back onto their shoulders again.
Looking down, the giant was surprised to see the duo's action and he asked them why they were doing so. The wife then proceeded to explain that they felt that the giant was pushing an extremely heavy load and she couldn't help but notice him sweating away profusely. She felt sorry for him and wanted to "share the burden a little". The giant was already doing them a good deed by giving them a lift, and she felt bad just sitting there whilst he pushed the two of them with their heavy sacks along.
Upon hearing her story, the giant laughed and laughed until tears rolled down his cheeks. He guffawed. He held his belly and laughed until it wobbled like a bowlful of jelly.
"Oh dear, you two will be the death of me!" he roared.
Offended, the wife whispered to her husband, " Look how rude that giant is, we were trying to lessen his load and help him out but there he is, laughing at us pointedly. I can't even find anything funny. Look, let's put down our sacks again on this wheelbarrow again and let him carry the heavy load. Serves him right for being rude!"
The giant heard her whispering and he laughed all the more.
Do you know why he laughed?
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Hmmm~ the moral of the story here is, God is so big and mighty whilst we are so small and insignificant compared to Him. Why should we continue to carry our burdens alone when we can just surrender to God? Little troubles and problems are nothing to our big God who is always willing to give us what's best for us. However, what we THINK might be best for us may not necessarily be good for us. God knows what is good and bad for us and for those who trust in Him, He will guide and provide for us.
Surrendering to God does not necessarily mean we just "goyang kaki" and duduk tunggu durian runtuh, we also have our own part to play. And God never said it was easy. Yes, salvation and God's love comes freely, but it was free ONLY because God had already paid the price for us. He chose to love us and redeem us through pure grace alone. Not because we are deserving, not because of who we are, but just because he loves us.
For further reading, do check out this link - Salvation - the Free Gift? .
Hope to hear from you anytime yea =) If you have any further questions or inquiries, please don't hesitate to share with me~
God bless you~
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