Well, the issue with Teddy Bear and Guy is officially settled...in a peaceful manner God was in control of...The truth was told in an email, responded (with prayer)...(very private matter so will not be published here) and we are now normal friends (at least that's my side of the story).I know God wants the best for both of us...I'll just let HIM lead on and see where HE takes me...
HE set me free in HIS own timing...from the pain, the confusion and HE bridged the gap back in the broken relationship... Guy did not mean to hurt Teddy Bear after all...HE wanted to protect her, not hurt her...A reasonable explanation enough for anyone to accept, because it just showed he cared, he was not a bad person and he wanted it for the good of both of them. My self-dignity was restored and the hurt healed.
Now, there is no more heartbroken pain inside me, the heavy weight is lifted...I no longer talk to my pillow, I no longer visualize a "self-foreseen" future of a wedding with kids...I've let go, no longer cherish secret hopes...I'm kind of "back to normal" but occasionally, the tears just fall, and I cry and cry uncontrollably...
WHY? you may ask? I don't understand as well...But when I cry, it is just a sad feeling, not deep, not hurting...Something I just want to let out...Maybe, it is the final realization of a dream broken, a hope unfulfilled...Or it could be the impact of a lost feeling after waking up from a sweet dream during a very very long sleep...
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