Piece of...

I'm a bit upset here because of several reasons.

1. Yes, today I went out of tune again during rehearsal. And there are 4 days left. (T_T) I feel useless. I have the least to do and I can't even do it properly.  

2.  Then I went home and tried singing using the proper key. To find that I could do it nicely a few times just like I normally sound like at home or when I sing properly in the erm...lift for practice.

3. Yes, today I wore the wireless mic like a headband the wrong way during rehearsal and wasted everyone's time checking what went wrong, and they were pressing for time. (T_T)

4. And yes, today I huddled 80% of my stuff from office back to my room and it looks like a messy storeroom now.

5. My housemates(the ones in the small room next door) still have NOT thrown out their rubbish and the whole living room and our bathroom stinks from the stench emitted from their bin. (No, it's their bin and we don't share. Impossible for me to stick any b*tchy notes on their doors. I guess they should be able to smell something that stinks that bad too. It's right outside their bedroom!)

6. Yes, my housemates spoilt the toilet flush, broken something inside I guess though to roughness, and still have not done anything to get it fixed. We are using pails and scoops at the moment. Thank you very much.

7. And finally,

I just realised, God I don't want it anymore. This time for real. Please keep whatever it is, far and safely away from me. I don't want it anymore.

I have finally come down to admitting. It won't work. And I'm so sick of it now.

That was the last time I'll do it k. And I won't do it anymore. Please keep my hands, heart and muddled mind safely under your big padlock. Make me busy or whatever. But help me cut all this crap k. I'm tired. And it's not good for me anyway.

Help me throw it away. I'd rather I had nothing, than have it. Absolutely nothing. Just help me to always have joy, love and a heart for you.

I want to know You more, I want to love You more. Please help me to grow in You again. And stay focused.

I pray in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.