Failure

Just came back from rehearsal.

Feel like an utter failure.

Everyone had so many parts to play, so much to do. I couldn't help. Just sat around like a dungu while they bustled up and down.

Then Jennifer teacher begged me to help her in something. She was so pale, so overtired and so burdened by various tasks for the same celebration...(T_T)

But I really can't act to save my own life punya. She didn't really believe me. But it's true. I can tell stories to kids, express myself in dance and music, but I cannot act punya!

Which is kind of why Ba Fu took me out of the actors list in the first place. I was initially proposed to represent the Sunday School teachers team by our "headmistress". But I told Ba Fu honestly that I can't act punya, and it's a bad decision. And he agreed really heartily.

I also quote my own mummy in heaven.

"Dawn, you can sing, you can dance, but you really can't act."

It's true.

K, back to why I'm sad. I just had this one little part in the theme song. Was a last minute replacement and only practiced last Friday. I guess compared to everyone who is acting and has so much to memorize and go through, I have the easiest part. I'm just singing, not doing anything else. But I can't even do that well.

声音很飘，不能出来，没有什么感情，没有中气，吸气还没有吸好，词不是很肯定，秩序也不大熟。总之，If I'm Ba Fu(director and composer of the song lyrics) or brother Daniel Chen(song composer and arranger), I would scold myself liao.

They chose me after discussion because they thought I could express well and my voice is smooth and nice. =.=|||
But I keep letting them down.

I also suspect it's coz brother Nicholas Chen wasn't around today to support me. (Though we're singing different parts but we stand next to each other punya and his voice is really assuring)

Oh, what if I sing off tune on the day  itself and spoil the beauty of the song? :'(

But then, God never lets me down, if I give my heart to Him. Everything is gonna be alright k?

Silly girl.


...

Recently I have this dual-personality thingie going on. I'm going to split myself soon.