Beginning Well

We entered the beginning of 2013 with our simple church service countdown at PJ State CMC.

At first I was tired and really lazy coz the service started at 11pm and I was dead beat after work! But coz people already purposely fetch me home to bathe first(while he waited in the car ALL THE TIME) and then have dinner together, baru go church. Then what do I have to complain right?

But pastor preached a good sermon that really touched my heart. And in the final session, instead of sharing in groups like we normally do, this time pastor wanted us to have a two-to-two partner sharing and prayer moment.

Since he was already next to me. So for the first time, we shared seriously in this aspect.

The saddest thing that happened in 2012, the best thing that happened. Our goal in 2013...etc.

One thing I am always always thankful about is the fact that he never hides anything from me. And I can always tell him everything in confidence. Like, EVERYTHING. The good, the bad and the ugly. And we don't judge each other at all. No need to find words, sometimes expressions speak louder and so on...

The thing that makes me respect him more is the fact that he is willing to be open and admit his mistakes really frankly. And that makes me open up to. And we realised we are both weak in exactly the SAME spots, and committing same sins...doing the same wrong things. (We went really into detail and expected to be judged, just to realise the other person was doing the exact same thing!) We are both so human! Not that that's a comfort, but we need to really encourage each other to change for the better.  And both of us need to recall our first calling to serve, and renew our covenant with God.

On the way home(sending me home lah at least, coz he stays in church already), we prayed and shared quite a bit in the car.

And it was really. (T_T) We both prayed out loud(one after the other) for each other's prayer items and after that we were totally like "WOW. That was just... beautiful."

For the first time in our companionship,   I saw the slimmest possibility of a future together with God. Our goals and direction matched, we were willing to respect each other and wait. And grow closer and deeper in our relationship to God.

I still cry uncontrollably when I listen to 山海誓言, coz I no longer believe in them. And somehow it hurts a lot. I might even have a commitment issue now. But actions always speak louder than words. And as he always says " I don't want to say so much. I don't NEED to say too much. We will see. And let time prove so to you."

I believe that when I let go and let God, be God. Everything will fall back into place.

I'm not hoping, not holding back...but just take one step at one time, as our Shepard leads ahead.

There's actually too much untold here. But my bed is beckoning to me, and I have a day of meetings and gatherings ahead of me. PJ State CMC is a church that never rests.

So, sleep now I must. Good night.