Facing the Unknown

Sorry for neglecting this blog. Recently life has been so hectic I don't have time to sleep or breathe properly. So many work, so little time. Been sick but still working at home, doing research and so on...To be honest, despite taking an MC, I slept for less than 9 hours out of 48 hours. And my body is breaking down soon, I don't have appetite to eat, but I'm going down to Seremban in 2 hours time for my relative's bday dinner.


Full of activities in the upcoming weeks ahead. Work work and work of course to begin with. Then my entire Hari raya hols will be spent in camp at pD with my new found friends in PJ state CMC. I love the people, the pastors and the children there! Well, it's my first time to attend a camp and be one of the station masters instead of joining in the games. I'm also looking forward to God re-directing my life in the right path again. I look forward to experiencing Him once again and rise up as a good soldier to run the race ahead.


The next week from wed to Sun will be spent in Bercham and Tanjung Rambutan for our local mission trip. Lots of programme preparation work going on, meetings after meetings to attend and today during the "sending off" ceremony by rev, the sound system went off as soon we we came out in front of the stage. And it was fixed as soon as sermon time started and we went back to our places. Hmmmm~don't know whether it's the beginning of spiritual war already, which is what our rev told us to expect. (Oh you of little faith, God is with you, what shall you fear?)To be honest, since the day of our training, when rev was sharing with us, God spoke to me personally, telling me not to be a stumbling stone. There were holes in my wall. I should not let the devil stand a chance to put his foot into my life and that's why I need to equip myself to contribute to the team. I was weak, am still weak so I really need prayer support. The schedule is going to be super tiring, everyday from 5am to midnight, prayer walk, visiting the folks there, outreach in the market place...for four and a half days! And even throughout the preparation, I already felt challenged in some aspects of my life. To be humble, to love and to do things all for God. Which is what I'm trying to do, really really hard. Praise God becoz I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me~!!!! and I think despite my busyness, my life is growing more abundant. I love going to church to learn, to share and to fellowship!

Been in depression lately and my dinner buddies knew that. Well, I'm happy that these small boys are all happily in love with small kids like themselves at the moment. As for me, I'm kind of in the middle of a big mess where I have a crush on a new guy(been around 2 months, and I know he'll never fall for me and I wouldn't want to like him IF i had the choice) but on the other hand, I think I still love my ex but it's really under control. I mean, I sort of miss him(my ex) like shit and maybe I even hate him a little. But then, I don't want to care anymore...And then, things got really crazy when I just got crushed by some news. And now I kind of don't like this new crush anymore...Why? coz according to some source, he's apparently going to be unavailable soon. Or maybe already is. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY MY CRUSHES ARE SO RANDOM COZ I'M NOT 16 anyMORE~!!! I don't know anything about this person, other than he is quite mature and really a good guy. I officially suck wei~!!!! Anyway, he's gonna be out of reach, out of sight and out of my mind....And errrr....not going to give away any tips here about his identity coz he's relatively famous. Anyway, I'm glad no one needs to know. :) Whatever la...I hate this feeling. I suck. I suck, I suck~!!!!!!!!!!BLEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!