Sunday, 2 October 2011

Just Carry On

Am really struggling these few days, feeling very down, particularly 灰心(心很冷) and 很多负面的攻击...我心里很累很累,在事奉上受到挫折,而且是我的要害...因为也是属灵征战,所以祷告很费力,很无力.

昨天其实完全敬拜不到,但是却突然在唱"恩典之路"时(虽然我真的没有想唱),看到神给我的答案,当头一棒.

我说"神,我今天敬拜不到,我今天很不甘愿来的,祢自己知道我现在面对什么,我很灰心,祢懂吗??!@!@!@!!! 所以不要怪我,我今天想休息,这种情况,我不能赞美祢."

上帝很好,他没有骂我.他告诉我,我其实这段时间,营会后他给我轻松顺利,休息够了.我记不记得答应让他磨练?那他需要针对我生命中很多事奉者的破口开始一一处理.我要是真的答应让他使用,就不可以再像以前那样不处理心态.一个事奉者该见识过的还要更多才能刚强...他要带领我突破我的软弱,会很痛苦,但是靠神可以得胜...而且他不会让我经历过于我所能承受的,因为他对我很仁慈,一直都是这样,可是主所爱的,他要管教,他所要用的,需要磨练...只是我现在真的累得快崩溃了.


回想起,神对我,比起他人算上超级温柔,超级仁慈了,而且非常forgiving...这让我想起神在旧约里也是有这样过: 约拿在发脾气时,他逃离了原定下的路程,故意run off-track,然后...哎呀我懒惰打啦,华语很慢啦:

In the bible records of Jonah chapter 4,

Jonah just left. He went out of the city to the east and sat down in a sulk. He put together a makeshift shelter of leafy branches and sat there in the shade to see what would happen to the city.

Well, God arranged for a broad-leafed tree to spring up. It grew over Jonah to cool him off and get him out of his angry sulk. Jonah was pleased and enjoyed the shade. Life was looking up.



上帝真的很明白事理,明白人会软弱,发脾气,不顺服...不过神不会宠坏我们.

我想我该行动before a similar scene happens. Read on for the following sequence of the story:

BUT THEN God sent a worm. By dawn of the next day, the worm had bored into the shade tree and it withered away. The sun came up and God sent a hot, blistering wind from the east. The sun beat down on Jonah's head and he started to faint. He prayed to die: "I'm better off dead!"

Then God said to Jonah, "What right do you have to get angry about this shade tree?"

Jonah said, "Plenty of right. It's made me angry enough to die!"

God said, "What's this? How is it that you can change your feelings from pleasure to anger overnight about a mere shade tree that you did nothing to get? You neither planted nor watered it. It grew up one night and died the next night. So, why can't I likewise change what I feel about Nineveh from anger to pleasure, this big city of more than 120,000 childlike people who don't yet know right from wrong, to say nothing of all the innocent animals?"


Okay, conclusion-NYA: 要打那美好的战,亲爱的兵士啊,你还是要站回起来的.要知道这前面的路还很长,再停步,就无法走完了.

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