Frustrated

By the title of this blog, you might have already anticipated that this post is not going to be a happy post....So be prepared for some not so polite expressions and harsh words...(this post is not recommended for those who have a guilty conscience or are weak-minded as well)

Excuse me here...but i need2 seriously let out some of my anger before I explode. I dun want to destroy my own health for something not worth at all. So since nobody cares if ever I'm gone, might as well say it out loud to relieve myself. Though for personal reasons, the identity of the irresponsible people will be kept anonymous.

To the first person I wish to shout to. Let's name you A. HELLO!It might strike you that MY temper has gotten worse and worse but it MIGHT interest you (or on second thought, maybe not)that you and a few other people are the cause of my problem.

People always feel happy and long to go back hometown a.s.a.p but not me. Even though my own house is only around 2 hours plus away from the place I'm studying at. In case you misunderstood, it is NOT because I don't love my own family or watnot. Let me paint you a picture and you'll perhaps be able to imagine why my mood is never good.

Yes,maybe I've got a free weekend to go home. But to the prospect of returning home sweaty and tired and with a spine injury which is not completely healed and will hurt like hell upon heavy duty and moving about too much, I come home to see the once-tidied (from MY last trip) house looking like a pig-sty again. To clarify, ONCE-TIDIED means around 5 to 6 hours work of rearranging, moping, wiping, scrubbing (sinks) and throwing away of rubbish. Okay, maybe this might not be important to SOME people. But at least please understand that it is because you were not the one who had done the work and upon returning to PJ after not enough rest and a once-again horribly painful tailbone, you fall sick during term-time and after this mini sacrifice, you "look forward" to returning home to a pig-sty the next time...So much for job satisfaction.

Do you THINK I enjoy being the maid-of the house? Yes, maybe some might think I have a cleaning disorder. But hey, FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I am not the rare species like Bree in Desperate Housewives, who actually ENJOY during housework.Sorry, I wish I could say I was like her. But in reality, I'm not.

I have now already learnt to "kan4 kai1" (take things more lightly) a little but think about this. If NOBODY cares about the cleanliness of the house, would there even be a HOME to come home to? yea, you don't care coz it's NOT IMPORTANT to you.

It's not important to you because you're OH SO BUSY with your school or campus work you've bought home with you. If not, you're busy sleeping away the day. If FORCED to clean the house, you simply do it and make a li~tle difference. Ya, so little nobody even notices it. Not that I'm fussy but if a job is not well done at all, why even bother to do it?

I MIGHT care too much, but don't you think there is something wrong with you if you don't mind living in a pig sty?

I am NOT THAT fussy but what would you do if you were me? Will you get dishearted? tired? frustrated? stressed? What if you were me? If you were the only one who bothered about the house at all. I'm not even the one living around the clock here. I come home, clean house and go away falling sick after that. Is it even worth it when people show the appreciation by thinking "oho, place cleared, more space to stack more rubbish" ...or "okay, the house is cleaned, so what? Let's just don't bother about untidy wires, let's drop out hairs all over the floor and drawer tops again and let's not bother about it since it's ALREADY been cleaned". It might SEEM reasonably clean again after two weeks or so. Or is it really? Or just because you're not bothered at all to clean it and keep cooking up excuses coz you don't care and you think you're going away soon? "let's simply clean it so nobody nags us again" seems to be your attitude or so I see.

Will you ever be happy living in this situation? Will you manage to be in a good mood? Well, maybe you can, coz you don't care...but sorry to say this, but i can't.

Why even come back if you just deprive me of my sleep and dirty and mess up the house without much contribution of your own? Why even come back if all you have in mind is your school stuff, campus life and your excuses on not enough sleep when the one really deprived of sleep is me? How much time do you spend with your family? the absent mmmms and oooos only irritate people....Stay where you are if your mind isn't back yet. Somethings are important and need to be done a.s.a.p but somethings aren't.

Why should I be destinied to be the maid-of-the-house when nobody cares? not even those living long-term in it. Am i just "too free" or what? Sometimes i wonder why i should be bothered at all to make myself frustrated and sick for nothing when nobody appreciates it and helps to make my life easier...Do you think cleaning is just about oh, mope the floor ONLY mar? NO! It IS NOT! What about rearranging the DVD piles which are so super untidy, all the table tops and shelves around (which by the way somehow get messed up again no fail everytime i come back), vacumming the book shelves,piano top and Tv plus shoe area, throwing away hundreds of empty tins and expired good, Scrubbing all the sinks in the house, using 8 pails of water to clean the house (and that is a minimum)...trying to lug and tidy the bags of "supplies" in the store room...And i haven't even named them all...

Can't you do your own part as well? nobody cares so long as their "little corner"to work is not disturbed....Is this fair? People come and go,or even stay but I'm the only one who cares about everything...

I'm going to be the first to earn my living next year, to give "house-keeping" money,pay my rental and travelling expenses, the first to grow up and it's not that I chose to. What will happen after my tiring week of working unknown hours a day? Do I feel like coming back to my hometown? Travel all the way to become a maid? Then i fall sick and it's time to get back to work...Should i scream yahoo? And to think people say, there's no place like home. I love my family...but sometimes I get really tired.

*SCREAMS....Arrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhh! *cries...